I've been offline being a mom. When some sort of crisis hits, blogging just has to take a backseat for a while.
Our youngest daughter, C3, had her 11th birthday last July 28. She was out of sorts during the days leading to her birthday and, at first, we thought it was all because of the rollercoaster of emotions over Li'l Fart. We were hoping that having Belch would help her through.
It turned out that she was getting emotional over something else. It was her first birthday without both maternal grandparents. It was like all her hurt over their passing (May 19, 2006 and May 11, 2007) spilled out.
It wasn't just one dramatic episode. It was more like days of deep sadness and listlessness, very low energy and not knowing what could provide solace.
Perhaps Belch picked up on the general emotions prevailing and he also fell sick, having loose then bloody stools. We were thrown into a panic but, thankfully, another round of deworming and antibiotics worked immediately.
Caring for Belch somehow distracted C3 but I was even more worried because if anything bad had happened to the puppy, she would have been more devastated.
Belch is fine now. C3 is better but we're still spending a lot of time together just hanging out as a family to smoothen any remaining emotional rough patches. It takes a lot of heart to heart talks interspersed with light moments and wacky moments. We go malling, watch movies, eat out, buy dvds to watch at home, stay up late watching them, and spoil the new baby Belch.
She has been absent from school but, thankfully, the home study program is geared toward adjusting to exactly this kind of personal situation. It's not like she has missed anything because she does her modules at home and just takes tests at school.
It's difficult to see your kids hurting. If only we could protect them from feeling these heartaches, but we can't and we shouldn't because it's God's way of guiding them through life's lessons. We can only be with them to softland the pain and share our own lessons learned. In fact, we're also learning together.
These are bittersweet times because through the heartache we feel even closer as a family.
Maia Jose, Manila Mom
After 23 years, still thrilled at being married to B and having C1 (daughter, 20), C2 (son, 18) and C3 (daughter, 12) / freelance writer-editor / Filipino romance author with 96 bestselling Filipino romance paperbacks published since 1992
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14 comments:
Children have a harder time dealing with loss. It's a good thing you guys are almost always together to speed up the healing process. I hope she feels better soon. We'll add her to our prayers.
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Alam mo totoo yan, manila mom. These tragedies in the family will bring you closer talaga. When my mom died, sa isang kwarto lang kami natutulog for ilang months din yun. Para bang thru sleeping in the same room we can somehow ease the hurt we're all feeling.
I hope everything's going great now for you all. And I hope C3's okay now.
Happy Thursday po! :)
This is why I love my mom so much :)
I was also devastated when my lolo died, I grew up with him and I deeply love him.
God bless and take care!
Thanks for the prayers, Brown Baron.
Sasha, we've all been sleeping together in one room ever since they were babies :D
Emmyrose, you and my kids are lucky to have grown up with grandparents. I grew up in Mindanao and only spent time with them here in Manila since college - so little time in comparison.
Rainqueen21,thanks for the tag. I'll check it out!
Life is a test, to test who will do a good deeds or not. Sorry to hear your story my fren, and you really love your kids, yeaa, every mum love her children and don't wanna look their children hurt right?? :)
Then patient is our best fren, gud luck and all the best to you from now on and the future.
BTW, Thanx for fav my blogs :)
Best regards
:)
Thanks for the visit, Forumer. Yes,indeed, grief takes time and we need to allow it to run its full course. We can only support each other through the difficult times.
I know all your songs ... plus the lyrics almost by heart (without exception). Where's the generation gap between us? hahaha
I have also my darkest season when my parents were ailing ... that time i felt i didnt have any right to be happy or enjoy anything.
like you said, each of us needs to learn how to come to terms with grief because it teaches us to cope with future events better. its just really heartbreaking when we see our children, with their young pure souls, struggling with it. however, with your love and guidance, your daughter is sure to come out of this as a much better person and hopefully as a more adaptive adult.
*hugs to everyone in your family*
AnnaManila, I can't sing a note but I sing these songs in my head, hearing my Mom's voice all the while. When it comes to songs, there's no generation gap between us. I know and love those songs more than the newer ones.
What I'm even sadder about is thinking of how my kids will be going through all of this again when it's my time and their Dad's. I know it's the cycle of life and they'll hopefully be adults by then but it really is very painful at any age.
MrsPartyGirl, yes, I'm hoping that the current experience will help prepare them for the future. Life is, after all, filled with losses along with blessings.
The post reminded me one of the painful events that happened in my life. I came home one Wednesday afternoon excited because my dad was on vacation from abroad. He had about a month to spend quality time with us.
In one of our dining rooms, I blurted, "Kumusta na kaya si Nanay?" (my grandma). I didn't exactly remember what my parents told me, but it was like they were trying to keep something from me. And that was that.
Come Friday, I came home and kissed my dad and mom. Then in a very calm tone they said, "'Es, Nanay had a stroke last Wednesday. We didn't tell you because of school and all." I felt different. It was not anger. Tampo for not telling me what happened to the person who I loved so much? Maybe, All I could remember saying was, "When do we visit Nanay?" "Tomorrow anak," was my Dad's quick reply.
And when dawn came, I was the first one to wake up! (though I don't think I slept a wink). There were three of us in the car, i.e., me, my dad, and mom. I was silent. Didn't eat anything. When we arrived at the hospital in Balanga, Bataan, I saw my Nanay. She was all smiles at me. I was her favorite (maybe because I'm the eldest apo, the eldest nephew of her children, and the eldest son of her eldest daughter). We have this bond that I cannot put into words.
I said to my Nanay, "please excuse me, 'Nay. I have to talk to Papa." And I've never requested anything from my Dad - probably because he has given us all that a kid, a son, could ever dreamed of. But this time, I still asked him. Politely.
"Dad, you will do everything in your power to have Nanay well again, right?" And i didn't even have to say please or utter another word. My Dad just nodded. And I cried the tears that I was trying to hide since they told me about Nanay's condition. Twas all that i wanted back then, to have my Nanay's health back. To have my Nanay again.
AnitoKid, there's really no escaping the process of grief at any age. When we lose a loved one, even if we know they are happier now in a better place we miss them so much that there's just a vacuum in our soul. Much time is needed by the entire family to learn to live with this new reality. Thanks so much for the words of comfort.
20 November 2007
Ms. Maia Jose
Romance Novelist
Dear Ms. Jose,
Greetings in St. La Salle!
We are junior Communication Arts students from De La Salle University–Manila currently enrolled this tern (second term, SY 2007-2008) in Mass Media and Society (SOCIETY). For our Media Speakers’ Series project, we are required to invite a speaker from the field of media we are assigned to. Our group has been assigned to print media, particularly Filipino romance novels.
We would like to request that you be our guest speaker in our upcoming Media Speaker Series entitled, “After ‘Ever After’: The Future of Filipino Romance Novels” on December 6, 2007 at Room. 206, Miguel Building , De La Salle University–Manila from 2:40 to 4:10 PM. We will follow you up on this matter soon. But should you have any inquiries regarding the above, kindly contact Korinne Lirio at 09178265410/email us at leslieannelures47@yahoo.com.
Hoping for your favorable response. Thank you and Godspeed.
Korinne Lirio
Stephanie Nepomuceno
Anna Mayor
Leslie Sy
Edsel Mendoza
Aww, hope she's doing better now. It 's a blessing that she has such a supportive family. :-)
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